Likely Televote Appeal
Likely Jury Appeal
When your USP is how strange you look on TV, there has to be serious concerns when viewed through a Eurovision lens
Portugal opted to send the early favourite, Conan Osíris to Tel Aviv with the song Telemóveis.
Having Iceland and Portugal selected on the same weekend has really screwed with the market: people don’t know which unconventional song to back while at the same time forgetting that Eurovision isn’t an alternative song contest.
If you are lucky enough to hail from Portugal or at least have a grasp of the language, you will be one of the lucky few who understand what’s happening during Conan’s performance. The rest of Europe’s viewers will be discussing the costumes, the interpretive dance and the strange choice of jewellery. This is normal for Conan [see previous].
When I first heard Telemóveis, I was instantly reminded of the weirdness of Rambo Amadeus’ Euro Neuro. I accept both songs are vastly different in terms of competence and delivery, yet for average Eurovision viewers they project similar levels of confusion. When your USP is how strange you look on TV, there has to be serious concerns when viewed through a Eurovision lens, more so when the song is from a nation that lacks a consistent regional televoting bloc.
At the time of writing and before the review was completed, I woke up to countless comments awaiting moderation all telling me that the star ratings were wrong and that Portugal would enjoy another landslide victory. Every single comment was submitted from a Portuguese IP address. The comments from the gambling community have been far more measured. Typically we are focussing on the negative vote-depressing aspects staring us in the face. There isn’t an emotional journey for viewers to help overcome the language barrier, which was the main driving factor behind Salvador’s victory. Nor is there a hummable melody or hook (the reason for the low song star rating). The whole package is just too avant-guard and too esoteric.
Semi-final 1 is perhaps the best place for Portugal to thrive, though I pity the poor viewers based on the lineup so far. There are a few alternative-loving nations in that semi-final so their juries might get behind Conan’s song – to what degree is anyone’s guess. Nevertheless, if Conan makes the final I can’t see him attracting enough support to match or even get close to Salvador’s result. Borderline top-10 might be achievable in year where originality is lacking, but I’m thinking 12th-18th is more likely. Again, that’s if Conan’s hallucinogenic trip escapes the semi.