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Austria: Zoë – Loin d’ici

With some controversial jury marking, Austria eventually selected their Eurovision 2016 representative. Having won the public vote, Zoë was chosen to represent Austria with the song, Loin d’ici. Zoë's overdose of twee, francophile, syrupy ooze has been a fan favourite since the video first rocked up on YouTube. It's safe to say the people connected with this site and other members of the Eurovision betting fraternity were less enthusiastic. As a song it dips it's toe in Valentina Monetta's Crisalide & Maybe - only one of those songs made the final, but mostly on the back of a third attempt at…
Song Appeal
Vocal Strength
Staging Potential
Likely Televote Appeal
Likely Jury Appeal
Cohesiveness of Package

Tres Loin d’ici

The staging resembles the effects of a strong dose of morphine and a variety of mushrooms.

User Rating: 3.24 ( 21 votes)

With some controversial jury marking, Austria eventually selected their Eurovision 2016 representative.

Having won the public vote, Zoë was chosen to represent Austria with the song, Loin d’ici.

Zoë’s overdose of twee, francophile, syrupy ooze has been a fan favourite since the video first rocked up on YouTube. It’s safe to say the people connected with this site and other members of the Eurovision betting fraternity were less enthusiastic.

As a song it dips it’s toe in Valentina Monetta’s Crisalide & Maybe – only one of those songs made the final, but mostly on the back of a third attempt at qualifying narrative. I do think Zoë’s song is better than all of Valentina’s efforts, but the big drawback for Austria are the non-English lyrics. Even if the juries were to show a little appreciation for the song, it’s likely to be undone by the voting public who will quickly tire of such an inaccessible song.

As Shell puts it, the staging resembles the effects of a strong dose of morphine and a variety of mushrooms. I do think it elevates what is a fairly repetitive song, but it falls well short of Flor-de-lis charming effort in 2009. Lead singer, Daniela Varela, had a natural warmth, whereas Zoë has the sickly permasmile of a privileged Disney princess.

Austria are generally friendless, as years of non-qualifications have proved. Finishing joint last on nil-points as hosts was rather embarrassing! Semi-final 1 will be brutal, and despite a slew of poor songs selected so far, I expect other nations to be higher up the pecking order for the small points. As you can tell, I’m expecting Austria to take an early flight home.

Can last year’s hosts make the final?

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12 comments

  1. Jaysus this is a bloody poor year so far :O. Albania and Ireland seem to be the only songs that could place in the top 20 at this moment.

  2. I really like the song, but I don’t understand why they made her look like Princess Peach </3 If they keep that staging/outift this is utterly CHANCELESS.

  3. There are so many things wrong with this, I honestly don’t know where to start.
    I could write an essay about the things wrong with this, but I would just get angry in the process. So I’ll just say NQ and try to forget this song exists in 2016.

    • As it stands, I’d call this a pretty certain qualifier, unless all the remaining slots in semi 1 are filled by great songs.

  4. I actually liked this song until I saw the performance tonight which I thought was very poor and the staging WTF like. How it won on the night baffles me to be honest. I thought it would flop at Eurovision anyway but it’s a certainty now.

  5. Austria should play this over loud speakers at its borders.The millions of economic migrants entering will then quickly move on to Germany, or anywhere else out or ear range.Did i read the jury scored this high?,incredible.

  6. Is that you Anna Rossinelli?

  7. This is a critical and very sophisticated reflection on the violent days of the French Revolution.
    Zoë represents a young princess the night before her impending and inevitable execution. Under the influence of a strong dose of morphine and a variety of mushrooms she finds comfort in a fantasy world where her emotional distress is cured by rainbow sparkles.
    Shame on eurovision rules for not allowing live animals on stage because the licking of a toad at some point could certainly add another dimension to this masterpiece.
    12 points.

  8. 12 points for Shell’s review!

    Since this got picked it’s been reminding me of a song I couldn’t quite put my finger on, but I found it. Just the sense of being such a lightweight piece of fluff.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qg1Izip9hSs

  9. I am actually quite unsure about it’s chances. It comes down to the juries, If they like it then there is a chance the public may like it too and it could sneak through, if they don’t then the tele voters most certainly won’t go for it and it will be lights out.

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