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EBU Appoints New Event Supervisor

With over 15-years at the helm of FIFA, the EBU has opted for experience and continuity in appointing disgraced FIFA President, Sepp Blatter, as their new Eurovision Event Supervisor.

Sietse Bakker announced his departure last week and the EBU has moved fast in securing Switzerland’s hottest property.

Eurovision Executive Supervisor, Jon Ola Sand was triumphant at the signing, saying: “Sepp Blatter’s record at FIFA singled him out as the only credible candidate to front the EBU’s mission to erode transparency and promote greater cronyism.”

Pushed on Sepp Blatter’s current travel ban, Sand defended his man, adding: “My friend Sepp has been screwing one of the world’s best-loved organisations for decades, so we believe he’s more than capable of screwing another one even harder…”

Outgoing Event Supervisor, Sietse Bakker, paid tribute to Sand in appointing 79-year old Blatter, stating: “Jon has always been a great admirer of Mr Blatter, and has modelled much of his own career on the work of the great leader – as indeed have I…”

Fed up with the cold Scandinavian weather, Blatter’s first move as events supervisor was to announce that the 2017 Eurovision Song Contest would be held in Qatar.

This is not a real story and the comments should not be attributed to the actual people cited above.

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